A few words about immigration for my small audience.

I left Russia in March 2021, so at this point I have spent 3.5 years living in other countries. When I brush up against contemporary Russian culture through conversations with people who still live there, or by reading about the latest in‑jokes and memes, I realize every time that I am out of context. I have no real idea what modern Russia is, or what Russian culture looks like today.

That can be confusing. As I said, I am no longer part of my home country, but I am also not yet part of any other, because I keep changing where I live.

Fortunately, I know I am not alone in feeling this way. And I know that the very fact I am writing about it means I have reached a new stage of immigration.

A bit more: from February 2022, I sometimes felt ashamed of my home country. For a while I almost stopped listening to Russian music. Now it feels fine again, because I have learned to separate politics from culture.

I am proud of the region where I was born (it felt so good when I saw the book 'Dersu Uzala' in a bookstore in Lisbon). I love most parts of Russian culture (I recently discovered the poet Boris Ryzhy, and his work broke my heart).

So I have accepted who I am and accepted my roots. Now I am ready to live in a new society and culture, wherever I finally find it, and to integrate into it.